Is your love life in crisis? Have you ever felt like your partner just doesn't understand your needs in a relationship? Do little things sometimes seem to lead to big arguments? Are you seeking wisdom on marriage? Love requires more than just speaking the same language as your partner – be it English, French, or Chinese – that by itself is not enough. Everyone has different ways of expressing and accepting love (aka different love languages) – and understanding this is essential. The 5 Love Languages offers great insight into relationship building for modern couples who face a variety of challenges. The author shares five love languages that each couple must recognize and apply for fruitful and lifelong intimacy. The 5 Love Languages is a #1 New York Times bestseller. Which one of these is your go-to option?

Dr. Gary Chapman is a marriage expert, counselor, and Baptist pastor. His unique perception and experience have helped hundreds of couples and families. He has authored several best-selling books, like The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively (2000), etc. Let’s take a look at the five love languages that will help you create a lasting bond with your beloved.

What changes once a couple decides to live together? Going on a date or planning a vacation is an entirely different experience from living together in a household. Once you live within a person's proximity, things like finances or daily chores become critical. And that's why doing an act of service for a partner is a generous expression of love and our next love language. 

This is exactly why living together might feel overwhelming. A partner might expect you to participate in household chores like vacuuming or helping with the dishes. When a partner starts taking the other for granted, resentment starts to develop in a relationship. At the end of the day, an exhausted partner may vent out and ask you to do your share. When life gets busy, help lighten their load. Take initiative rather than waiting to be asked. 

Balance in a relationship can only be achieved when acts of service are done voluntarily. Look for what you can do for your partner rather than making demands from them. In today's society, often both husband and wife go out for work. So, it is natural to not burden one partner with all household chores. It is neither possible nor acceptable anymore. Your efforts won't go unnoticed!

Take the example of Jacob. When he lost his job, his partner Sandra took over paying the bills and managing their finances without hesitation. Jacob was amazed at how she stepped up during a stressful time. Sandra's initiative to take on an extra load in a time of need made Jacob feel profoundly loved and supported.

So, next time your wife asks you to pay attention to chores, you must oblige. It is time to let go of toxic and unnecessary societal conventions. Such a transformation will be your love language for your wife and is the 4th of our 5 love languages.

Last up, is the 5th and possibly the most important love language – that of physical touch and affection. Just like helping your partner, staying in a physically intimate relationship is a great love language.

Let's explore this a bit further.

At its core, lack of physical touch is a major problem in a relationship. Some people really need that physical connection. Kissing, holding hands, and similar gestures are important means of expressing love to most people. A lack of physical closeness might be perceived as rejection by such a partner and cause emotional pain.

Affectionate contact like hugging or caressing releases feel-good hormones in the body improving intimacy and overall emotional well-being. Touch triggers oxytocin, the "love hormone”. And who wouldn't love a good oxytocin boost?

Here's another science lesson for you: physical closeness actually decreases the stress hormone cortisol. No wonder couples feel more relaxed and bonded after some quality time! 

Explore different places on your partner’s body to see what’s most pleasing to them. Learning massage techniques will also help do wonders!         

Do not underestimate the power of physical touch to build a strong and lifelong relationship with your partner.

By now you’ve got a good overview of the five love languages – words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. But knowing the options is only half the battle. The real magic happens when you finally put a name to your own primary love language. Pinpointing your unique love language can require some real soul-searching, but it reveals so much. So, play the detective and ask yourself: what did I beg for most from that ex who never listened? And how do I show love today? After all, we tend to give our own desired medicine!

Also, peek at your OG spark – when you’d get those giddy butterflies. How’d your honey wow you at the start? It’s easy to forget. But there are good clues there for what gives your heart the fuzzies. Gotta shift gears to find what rocks your boat. Take Bob for example – he was certain physical touch was his top love language. But comparing painful criticism from his wife Carol despite physical intimacy versus just her loving praise, he realized words of affirmation actually filled him up more.

While you’re tapping into your reflections like Bob, also note down what you guess to be both your primary and secondary languages. Discuss with your partner too – you might be surprised where you align or differ! Remember, the goal isn’t identical languages, but rather speaking each other’s tongue more fluently - little love notes in their dialect.

Then again, if your love tank has felt full forever or vacant for eons, identifying your fuel source can get tricky. So here’s an idea that can uncover fresh clues – go without your usual love fix for a while and observe what you begin to thirst for most. Create space for candid sharing as well.

This ain’t rocket science, just takes reflection. Once you crack your code, though, you have the key to making your relationships priceless!