The night before her mother died, they laughed together at a basketball game, savoring their lives. 24 hours later, that woman was gone, felled by a shocking brain aneurysm. Just like that, Amy Morin lost the most vital woman in her life! She dealt with a series of blows after that - losing her young husband, and then facing her new father-in-law's cancer diagnosis. In that moment of despair, she channeled her emotions into a powerful act of self-reflection, and...
They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves
Life throws us challenges, some bigger than others. At times, they feel like devastating blows that we'll never recover from. Illness and death tops the list. Can you imagine being born with tetra-amelia syndrome, a condition that leaves you without limbs? This was the reality for Nick Vujicic, a man who has defied expectations and inspired millions. This man had every reason to whine and curse his fate. Instead, he focused on what he could control: his attitude, his perspective,...
They don’t give away their power
How often do you blame others for your emotions? We all say things like, "That traffic jam is making me late" or "My co-worker is stressing me out." But aren't we the ones choosing how to react and feel? When we let external factors dictate our feelings like this, we give them power over us. HUGE mistakeSo, first up, take control of your vocabulary. Instead of "They made me so mad," try "I'm feeling frustrated right now." Remember, you choose...
They don’t shy away from change
How do you view change? Do you welcome it with open arms or find yourself clinging to the familiar? If you constantly make excuses to avoid it, you'll find your life stagnant. And we don’t want that. Instead, embracing change, preparing for its challenges, and committing to it are the way to success. Like Caruso.This guy started out as an actual clown in a circus, but realized that lifestyle had its limits. So while still doing his clown thing, he...
They don’t focus on the things they can’t control
The afternoon sun beat down mercilessly on the endless line of cars. John was boiling with anger, cursing and banging his fist on the steering wheel. “Get a move on! I’m getting ridiculously late for the meeting.” He couldn’t stand being late because he wants so much to be in control. Another person in a car next to him turned on his radio and hummed along to the tune of the song playing, vibing and enjoying it. “Let me enjoy,...
They don’t worry about pleasing others
Meet Angela. She is a people pleaser. Just to return the favor for being invited over for lunch, she reluctantly invited Jenny to go to the mall with her. Reluctant because Jenny is a shopping freak and Angela wanted to just drop by to pick up a few things and come back soon.On the other hand, Jenny accepted the invitation begrudgingly because she has other commitments. However, being a people pleaser like her friend, she couldn’t say, “No!”Did you see...
They take calculated risks
Many people fear taking risks, especially when it comes to pursuing dreams. They worry that the chance of failure outweighs the potential rewards. But get stuck on the fear of the negative and you’ll never get to live the life you desire. So, is taking blind leaps the answer? Short answer: No! Here’s why.Big decisions require careful thought. Just like with changes, you gotta evaluate risks by considering potential costs and benefits, how they align with your goals, and what...
They don’t dwell on the past
Most of us feel stuck in a loop. Maybe you replay past moments, wondering what could have been, or constantly worry about the future. These are all manifestations of a bad habit - that of being in what's not the present. Constant worry about the future, and the ripple effects of your decisions, eating away at the present. Or, you focus on the past, and then it spills over into negativity about the present! Fixate on either one, and the...
They don’t make the same mistakes
Imagine being a kid, getting a bad grade, and feeling like the world is ending. Would you give up your education altogether? One mistake, and you’re over? NOPE! Not if you learn from that mistake!Meet Rowland Macy. This 19th-century dude opened a store in a sleepy town. Big mistake – no customers! So, he threw a huge parade to drum up business. Guess what? On the day of the parade, the weather was unbearably hot. As a result, hardly anyone...
They don’t resent the success of other people
It’s time to take a bite out of a sweeter story - that of Milton Hershey and H.B. Reese. Picture this: Reese, an employee at Hershey's factory, starts tinkering with his own candy creations. Now, some bosses might see that as a threat. But not Hershey! He saw Reese's passion and, instead of feeling jealous, supported him. He even let Reese use Hershey's famous milk chocolate in his experiments!Those experiments led to a legendary treat: the peanut butter cup, a...
Mentally strong people don’t give up after first failure
You must have studied relentlessly for a big exam, but the results come back disappointing. Or perhaps you poured your heart into a job application, only to be met with a rejection letter. It's easy to feel defeated in these moments.Here's the thing: these setbacks are often fueled by limiting beliefs. These are negative thoughts we hold about ourselves, like "I'm not good enough" or "I'm just not cut out for this." They hold us back from trying again.Instead, channel...
Mentally strong people don’t fear alone time
Between city sounds, work chatter, and the TV buzzing in the background, it is easy to be overwhelmed. Silence seems like a rare commodity. And here's the secret: a little quiet can go a long way.Research shows that embracing silence isn't just peaceful, it's powerful. It's a chance to recharge, unleash creativity, and reconnect with yourself. Instead of drowning your thoughts in noise, carve out ten minutes a day for pure silence. No phone, no TV, just you and your...
Mentally strong people don’t feel that the world owes them anything
Many children today grow up with a constant stream of praise, even for minor achievements. While celebrating progress is important, when parents don't teach responsibility, it can foster entitlement. As if they deserve the royal treatment just for existing. This is only going to undermine their ability to actually put in the effort to earn success. A sense of entitlement makes them demanding and unrealistic instead of doing the hard work. And c'mon, who likes a spoiled brat? Here's the...
Mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results
Ever started a project with a burst of enthusiasm, only to see it fizzle out a few weeks later? Well, studies show that people often ditch their goals way too soon. In fact, a 1989 study found a whopping 75% of people gave up on their New Year's resolutions within a week!Why the short attention span? Here's the thing: most of us set unrealistic expectations. We picture instant success, forgetting the hard work and dedication it takes to get there....
Chapter 16
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Summary
"13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do" by Amy Morin identifies 13 habits hindering your success and offers strategies to overcome them. Emphasize on developing a growth mindset, taking ownership of your emotions, and focusing on what you can control. Take calculated risks, celebrate others' success, and embrace perseverance. By incorporating these principles, you can build mental strength and achieve your goals.
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About the Author
Early on in my career as a psychotherapist, I went through a series of losses that inspired me to study mentally strong people. I learned that building mental strength is a lot like building physical strength. You need good habits (like going to the gym). But it only takes one bad habit to limit your progress (like eating too much junk food).
Studying people in my therapy office helped me recognize the unhealthy (yet common) habits that can keep us stuck in life. When I gave up those habits, my life became a lot better.
I want to help you stop doing things that rob you of the mental strength you need to become your best. They worked for me and I’m sure they can work for you too.
More on: amymorinlcsw.com
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