The Late Bloomer's Journey to Greater Later

Bevy Smith, a self-proclaimed "late bloomer" at 55, shares her journey of discovering her authentic self, proving that "it does, in fact, get greater later". Once a successful fashion advertising executive at 38, jet-setting and seemingly living a dream life, she realised she was only pretending to be happy. This moment of awakening led her to defy expectations and embark on a path less travelled, drawing inspiration from her remarkable mother, Lolly, and learning valuable lessons along the way.

Let's dive into the powerful lessons Bevy discovered that can help anyone on their own path to authenticity.

Lolly’s number one lesson, and arguably the bedrock of Bevy’s transformation, is: "don’t settle". While many equate settling with a "humdrum" job they hate, Bevy discovered that even a "well-paying, glamorous career" could be a settle if it didn’t align with her true desires. At 38, she quit her fashion advertising job with the intention that "every day be a great adventure". This meant embracing the scary parts, like being broke from the age of 40 to 45, but she wouldn’t trade it for the "safe and settled version" because it was essential to becoming who she is today. Settling, Bevy explains, is "insidious" and "sinister"; it keeps us waiting for an "elusive, better day to miraculously appear" and can lead to sleepless nights questioning if "that is all there is?".

This profound lesson on not settling is deeply rooted in the confidence Bevy drew from her mother.

When Bevy chose to "buck the system and go against the status quo," people often asked where she got her confidence, sometimes with "silent judgment". Her reply, inspired by Jay-Z, is simple: "She get it from her mama". Her mother, Lolly, is the "epitome of a grown-ass woman". Lolly was always "comfortable in her skin", even keeping her maiden name after marriage in 1965 and continuing to work because she "refused to be beholden" to her husband for money. She cooked just once a week, making Sunday dinner an "extravaganza," but otherwise maintained her independence.

Lolly also taught Bevy the "literal beauty in aging," always being proud of her age and believing that while you may not tell your age, "your hands and your neck will". Bevy observes a "fear of aging" even in 20-somethings, who might feel "angsty" and ask, "Is that all there is?" if they only "settle for dancing to someone else’s TikTok beat!". By embracing age and living authentically, one can radiate true confidence.

This inner peace allows one to live firmly in the present, free from the anxieties of settling.

Thanks to her mother’s guidance, Bevy’s story isn’t about settling. She takes "each day as it comes" and strives to make it "better than the last". This commitment to not settling means she’s "firmly rooted in the present". As an entrepreneur, she maintains "multiple revenue streams," and as a solo traveler, she’s explored "six continents". This approach means she doesn’t “second-guess" her decisions and isn’t "worried about [her] future". The only reason she wants to be kept up all night "tossing and turning" is the company of a "fine-ass man"!

While her mother provided foundational lessons, Bevy also learned from her own mistakes, especially from a period she calls "Bitchy Bevy."

Bevy openly admits she was a "late bloomer in all regards," even having to learn lessons from her "Bitchy Bevy" era, characterised by a "toxic attitude" and employing "10 assistants in five years". Initially happy in fashion, she began to compare her trajectory to others and felt "burned out" by personas she created to "progress in [her] career". She thought "being snarky was a good career move" – it wasn't.

Even after evolving, insecurities reappeared, prompting her to devise a "self-help ritual" called "Take a note, give a note". When seeing someone succeed in a space you feel you deserve, "take a note" by honestly assessing if you truly want it, if you’re suited for it, and if the "universe is conspiring" for you. Then, take a deep breath and affirm: "Their wins have nothing to do with my worthiness". Next, "give a note" by extending "grace" – congratulating them publicly or privately. Bevy believes that removing malice from your heart not only makes you "feel better" but also "look better," suggesting it’s "better than Botox".

This practice of extending grace clears the path for true self-discovery.

Bevy believes in the adage, "To thine own self be true," asserting that "nobody can be you but you". However, she highlights a crucial quandary: "What if you don’t really know who you are because you suppressed your inner self?". To "excavate" her true self, "Little Brown Bevy," she asked herself three pivotal questions:

1. Who am I at my core? Bevy’s core is about "authentically connecting with people," being "curious and adventurous," "kind," and having "big dreams".

2. How am I being perceived? She was known as "Bitchy Bevy," a persona that, while powerful and financially rewarding in fashion, was "incredibly lonely and isolating".

3. How would I like to be perceived?

By changing her "spirit" and leaving the fashion world, Bevy "let Little Brown Bevy out to play". This allowed her "nerdy pursuits" to flourish, leading her to join museums, travel to see architecture, and learn to be alone without being lonely. This shift made her a "better person," allowing her to stand before an audience with "no bravado, with nothing to prove" and an "open heart".

Bevy marvels that "Little Brown Bevy" from Harlem is now an award-winning radio and TV host, an author, an actress, a creative consultant. She’s in her "Mama I made it" moment, showing up as her "most Bevyest self" because she’s "done the work". This means she’s "vibrant and boisterous," and a "tell-it-like-it-is approach to life that’s always dosed with a ladle of love".

It took her 55 years to get here, making Chris Rock’s "late bloomer" comment accurate, but Bevy embraces it. She concludes with a powerful affirmation: "I’m right on time, Because it gets greater later". Her journey is a testament that discovering and embracing your authentic self, no matter your age, is a journey worth taking, and the rewards are profound.