“You do You!” We find this idiom all the time in motivational speeches. You do you is basically a millennial version of do what you want. But how many of us can actually do what we want? Following established societal norms seems so much easier, right? Now, what if on this fine day, you decide to cast away all these external pressures and start leading an authentic life?Self-improvement expert and “anti-guru” Sarah Knight believes it is important to build an...
Tell Society's Rules to Take a Hike
Man is a social creature, and follows a set of unwritten rules while living in society. In order to find approval in the society we live in, we observe, learn, and follow “acceptable behaviour”. But haven’t you ever felt that some unwritten rules don’t always work in our favour?Like what’s the deal with having to pretend to enjoy tedious family gatherings just to keep up appearances? Or feeling obligated to say "yes" to things you really don't want to do,...
‘Do you’ while still helping others!
The top 5 in Knight’s list of useless social expectations are the “do your best,” “be a team player,” “don’t be selfish”, “don’t be difficult”, “don’t quit your day job” comments. She has some sassy solutions for all.“Do your best” is SO cliché! What if we don’t want to do it at all, huh? Doing your best, all the time, over and over again with zero regard for anything else is a recipe for burnout and frustration. You’ll lose your...
Handling Haters Is A Crucial Aspect Of Self-Empowerment!
Say you see Knight at a food joint. She orders a well-done steak. The waiter delivers a rare. She sends her food back, and asks for what she actually wanted - without giving a single damn about what the waiter or anyone else thinks. What would you think of this (not that she cares, but still, asking for research)? Would you think of her as problematic? Bad-tempered? Difficult? Or would you give her a silent round of applause for sticking...
Being pessimistic or cautious might work for you!
In a world where everyone wants you to ‘look at the bright side,’ a pessimistic person is frowned upon. Well, Knight is flipping the script. She makes a logical, almost appealing, case for pessimists. Probably because she’s one, too!Point #1: Pessimists are fantastic at anticipating things! They know every worst-case scenario that can possibly occur. They’re like Dr. Strange with the time-stone! Their backup plans have backup plans. No kidding, Knight made sure she got married in a tented-courtyard –...
Ask For Professional Help For Your Mental Health
As we needlessly follow societal norms on what is normal or what is acceptable, we forget who we are, what we truly desire and how we can lead a fulfilling life that leads to unfiltered happiness. This unhappiness and dissatisfaction will eventually lead to multiple mental health issues.Knight shares a unique story about her stint with mental health and how she overcame mental health issues with professional help. Like most of us, Knight did not dare to seek professional help...
Choose Your Own Routes!
What does it really mean to be successful in life? The textbook definition involves things like having a high-paying job, getting married, and having kids by 30. But not everyone dreams of a cookie-cutter lifestyle. Success means different things to different people, and no one else gets to define it for you.Still, societal pressures and conventions can make it difficult to diverge from what everyone else does. You will be judged and lectured - whether it's opting out of parenthood...
You Be YOU!
Nod if you've ever felt the pressure to just spare yourself the effort and conform to what society expects from us. If this happens again, remember that this will never lead to actual happiness. Happiness comes from keeping your own heart, not what will please the crowd. Okay?One area this comes up is being nice to everyone all the time. Knight especially hates when someone random goes "you should smile more!" Why do we have to pretend we’re happy when...
Chapter 10
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Summary
The path to living life on your own terms is rarely easy, but it's worth fighting for every single day. We consistently feel the pressure to fit in and accept the norms. But each one of us is a unique individual. We must strive to embrace and celebrate uniqueness/ weirdness to lead a more fulfilling life. You only get one life. One gloriously flawed, messy, amazing life to call your own. Don't waste it stuck in someone else's idea of...
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About the Author
Sarah Knight, a Harvard graduate, worked for fifteen years as a top book editor in New York City with authors such as Chris Cleave, James Lee Burke, Gillian Flynn, David Javerbaum, Jen Kirkman, Jessica Knoll, Emily Nagoski, and many more.
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