Trauma is like a scratch on the soul, a sad song stuck on a loop, and a memory etched in a mind full of pain. The trauma caused by the weight of a war is easy to imagine. War veterans coming back with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) find it difficult to lead to a normal life. They become strangers in their own lives.

But trauma isn't always about bombs and bullets. It comes in many forms, disguised as seemingly minor events. We don’t even realize some of them. A critical parent's words, a car accident, even a nasty breakup - all these can leave their mark. Which is what the focus of this book is. “The Body Keeps the Score” by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk is about how our bodies process trauma. It explains everything: what trauma is, where it comes from, and how to treat it. We'll explore what makes trauma haunt us and the tools to finally turn off that sad record on repeat. The concepts and strategies in the book are a result of four decades of studying the impact of trauma on childhood brain development and emotional regulation. So, it’s safe to say that it is difficult to find someone more qualified than Dr. Bessel to understand the scientific and personal impact of trauma. 

So, let's delve into this vital topic.

Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event that overwhelms a person's ability to cope. Believe it or not, but it is a nearly universal human experience. We often associate trauma with extreme events like rape, abuse, or natural disasters, but there’s so much more to it. For one, it is unfortunately very common.

A research conducted by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reveals some alarming numbers: every one in five Americans has experienced childhood sexual molestation; one in four has been beaten by a parent; one in four grew up with alcoholic relatives; and one in eight witnessed domestic violence. How sad is that?

These experiences can have a lasting impact that persists into adulthood; affecting self-esteem, assertiveness, anger management, and the ability to form trusting relationships. This was witnessed first-hand by Dr. van der Kolk. He ran a therapy group for Vietnam war veterans suffering from PTSD. And at first, the group rejected him because he hadn't experienced the same traumatic war events they had. Trauma victims frequently feel like others cannot truly understand their pain. Which is true, but it affects connections. The veterans could no longer connect with people unless they shared the trauma of war. It took him weeks of patiently listening and building trust before the group finally accepted him. This struggle to connect is a constant challenge for them. The very people they need most – partners, children, friends – become the most difficult to trust. This strain can lead to estrangement or even divorce. This goes on to show trauma's impact extending far beyond the individual. Loved ones become collateral damage as PTSD, depression, and substance abuse take root. Trust crumbles, leaving survivors feeling isolated.

From a neuroscience perspective, trauma disrupts the normal functioning of the insula and amygdala. See, the insula picks up signals from our senses, and the amygdala triggers the fight-or-flight response if any danger is detected. But these signals keep firing all the time in people with trauma. This leads to a constant feeling of being on edge. We can't ignore this, can we?

Let’s learn more about the impact of trauma.

Childhood trauma is a silent epidemic. In a study by CDC, only one-third of respondents reported no childhood trauma experiences. 

While one might easily associate childhood traumas with physical abuse, emotional neglect can be equally devastating. A research conducted by Karlen Lyons-Ruth on children from 0 to 20 years of age found that a mother's emotional withdrawal had the most profound impact on children. This neglect of basic needs by caregivers leads to a constant state of high alert. Children who've faced trauma often brace themselves for the worst, even in seemingly safe situations. As adults, such children also anticipate rejection and withdrawal. One of the most damaging effects is feeling "not real inside," leading to self-destructive behaviors - cutting yourself with razors or getting into unnecessary fights. 

Dr. van der Kolk ran a study to see how trauma affects imagination. They showed kids, some who had been through trauma and some who hadn't, pictures from magazines. One picture showed two kids watching their dad fix a car from under it. Kids without trauma imagined a happy ending, like the dad fixing the car and taking them for burgers. But kids with trauma came up with scarier stories. A nine-year-old boy who had been severely physically abused told an elaborate story about how the boy in the picture kicked away the jack, so that the car mangled his father’s body and his blood spurted all over the garage. For these kids, even harmless images can trigger intense fear, anger, sexual confusion, and terror. With every interaction, image, or sound, they imagine the worst - a stranger walking by, a picture on a screen, even someone entering the room - all could be a sign of impending danger.

Such traumatic childhood experiences just don’t go away. They carry on well into adulthood leaving long-lasting scars that shape how survivors view themselves and the world around them. Mary was 13 when she was abused by her brother and his friends. As an adult, Mary found herself shutting down or lashing out over seemingly small things - a common reaction when unresolved trauma lingers. But sometimes kids don’t remember their abuse into adulthood even though the trauma still impacts them. Which begs the question: How do these traumatic memories shape over time?

Just like the game of chinese whisper, our memories hold details which distort over time. Everyday events, like weddings or birthdays, often become blurry with repeated telling. We might remember feeling happy or excited, but the specifics - like the exact shade of a bridesmaid's dress or the intricate details of the wedding cake - tend to fade. 

However, traumatic experiences are etched in a very different manner into our memory. These events leave very clear imprints. Sensory details like the smell of smoke after a fire, the rough grip of an attacker's hand, the chilling screech of brakes before an accident become woven into the fabric of the memory. Even seemingly ordinary smells, like a whiff of alcohol, has been reported to trigger a cascade of emotions and bring a past trauma rushing back in a terrifying wave. 

A Harvard study following World War II veterans for over 45 years explains how traumatic memories are resistant to change. While memories of non-traumatic events faded over time, the veterans' war memories remained stubbornly fixed. Every detail of the battlefield, every sound and sensation of combat, stayed disturbingly sharp. 

This rigidity of traumatic memories can be a significant hurdle in healing. Being drowned in the past can make it difficult to move forward and build a fulfilling life. So, are there ways to manage these memories and find peace?

David was haunted by a brutal attack. Traditional therapy wasn't helping him move forward, so he decided to try EMDR, a powerful approach for trauma recovery. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, and here's how it helped David:

During EMDR sessions, the therapist would guide David back to the details of his assault. He'd recall the sights, sounds, and even the physical sensations of the attack, like the pain and blood.

While David revisited these details, the therapist wouldn't just sit and listen. They would move their index finger back and forth slowly across David's field of vision, about twelve inches from his right eye. This isn't hypnosis, but rather a way to stimulate the brain's processing centers and help David stay connected to the present moment. Slowly the mind learns to make new associations with the troubling memories.

As David recounted the attack and followed the finger movements, it wasn't easy. Waves of fear, anger, and even physical sensations like pain would flood back. This is a normal part of EMDR – by acknowledging these intense emotions without judgment, the brain can begin to process the trauma. The therapist would help David stay calm during these moments, using simple techniques like encouraging sounds and deep breathing exercises.

With each EMDR session, David revisited the assault memory, processing the emotions and sensations attached to it. Over time, something remarkable happened. The memory of the attack became less overwhelming. New memories also surfaced – anger towards his attackers, wanting revenge, even getting into fights. The therapist helped David acknowledge these feelings as well, understanding that they were a natural response to the trauma.

A crucial turning point came when David recalled wanting revenge on his attacker, but then changing his mind. This realization was a breakthrough. It helped him see himself not as a monster consumed by rage, but as someone who ultimately chose a better path.

By the end of EMDR therapy, David was a changed man. He slept better, felt a newfound sense of inner peace, and reconnected with his wife. A year later, he was laughing more, enjoying hobbies, and his life felt worlds better. EMDR helped David process his trauma, move forward, and reclaim his life.

And that’s the power of EMDR! Now, Let’s look at such another powerful practice.

In 1998, Dr. van der Kolk read about a new biological marker called Heart Rate Variability (HRV). Think of HRV as a measure of your body's "flexibility" – how well your nervous system adjusts to stress. When it's balanced, you can manage everyday frustrations and disappointments calmly.

But low HRV, a lack of variation in heart rate with breathing, can negatively impact your mind, body, and emotions. It can make you more vulnerable to physical illnesses like heart disease and mental health issues like depression and PTSD.

Can people improve their HRV? Research confirms that breathing exercises and yoga can significantly reduce anger, depression, and anxiety. These benefits extend to physical problems as well!

Here's a powerful example: a patient of Dr. van der Kolk named Annie, a rape victim with PTSD, wrote about her experience after a yoga session. She realized how disconnected she was from her body, especially where she had self-inflicted injuries. During yoga poses, she felt tightness and tension in her core, areas where she "held" pain and memories. For the first time, she could locate these feelings, and it brought a gentle wave of calmness.

Annie's experience highlights how yoga helps. By focusing on breath and movement, yoga can reconnect us with our bodies, allowing us to process and release physical and emotional tension.

Now, it’s time to explore the importance of mindfulness and supportive relationships to deal with trauma.

Imagine a wave of emotions crashing over you – fear, anger, sadness. That's what Marilyn experienced. For years, she numbed these feelings with alcohol and exercise. But these tactics kept her stuck.

The key to healing for Marilyn was mindfulness. Mindfulness isn't about ignoring your emotions; it's about observing them without judgment. Through techniques like meditation, Marilyn learned to step back and watch her feelings come and go, rather than being swept away by them. This allowed her to finally feel safe enough to confront the trauma she'd experienced as a child.

Here's how mindfulness works: Our emotions are constantly changing, like waves in the ocean. By focusing on our physical sensations - the tightness in our chest, the quickening of our breath - we can learn to recognize these emotional shifts. This awareness gives us more control over how we react to them.

Mindfulness also helps calm our nervous system, making us less likely to get stuck in "fight-or-flight" mode. It's like hitting the brakes on our internal stress response.

Now, let's talk about the power of relationships in healing.

Imagine being scared – a comforting hug or a kind word can instantly make you feel better. It's the same for adults who've experienced trauma. Having safe, supportive people around us is essential for recovery.

After a disaster, people need basic necessities – food, shelter, and a safe place to sleep. But they also need familiar faces and the comfort of loved ones. These connections are our strongest defense against fear. Studies show that children separated from their parents after trauma suffer more long-term consequences.

So, if you or someone you know is struggling after a difficult experience, remember: we don't have to go it alone. Mindfulness and strong relationships can be powerful tools for healing and finding peace.

With body and mind in check, let’s look at a new technique called neurofeedback and how it is changing the process of healing from trauma.

Imagine if you could look inside your brain and see the intricate patterns of electrical activity that make your trauma what it is. What’s more how about if you could reach in and fix the faulty wiring. How awesome would that be! Lucky for you, neurofeedback allows you to do just that! Many traumatized people show slow wave activity in the right temporal lobe, which is the fear center of the brain. With neurofeedback, they can literally rewire their brain to overcome this.

See, at its core, neurofeedback uses computer technology to mirror your brain's electrical rhythms back to you. The computer program is set up to "reward" desired brainwave patterns by giving you positive feedback about them, a beep. Healing requires training their brain to produce more alpha waves - the ones that make you calm and cool. So, the neurofeedback system detects when their brain is producing alpha waves. It then provides the reward. Their brain starts associating those rewards with the alpha state. With repetition, their brain learns to replicate the alpha state more easily to obtain those rewards. Ta-da! Their brain can now shift into a peaceful state more easily and frequently. 

Neurofeedback doesn't just change how you think and feel, but changes your brain on a biological level for better functioning. Veterans plagued by the horrors of PTSD found their haunting nightmares and hypervigilance fading away. Others broke decades-long patterns of addiction and self-destructive behaviors. Children with learning disabilities became able to focus and process information clearly. Elite athletes and performers gained heightened creativity and concentration. So yeah, neurofeedback may unlock our mind's inherent ability to adapt, evolve and heal itself from the inside out, but a lot more research is still needed.