Hey there! Are you in that mode of life where you're running around like a headless chicken, hustling through chaos, trying to balance breakfast, emails and find matching socks, while also juggling an angry boss and demanding kids, and yet, somehow feeling like you're missing the plot? We've all been there. When that to-do list feels more like a burden than a guide. That's the moment when Stephen R. Covey, joined by the power duo of Roger and Rebecca Merrill, hand out not just another time management manual; they're passing on the secret sauce for a more happier, fulfilling life, encouraging you to take a breather and rethink your game plan.

"First Things First" is not about doing more; it's about doing what matters. The authors get real with us, sharing relatable stories that hit home. So, grab a seat and dive into "First Things First" with us. Because life's too short for a never-ending to-do list that leaves you wondering, "What was the point again?" Let's make it count!

Imagine a world where we have 48 hours in a day instead of the usual 24. Wouldn’t it be great? You'll have more time to accomplish just about anything! But, before you answer an enthusiastic “yes”, consider this: what if this relentless fixation on efficiency is not as awesome as you think?  Our world is fixated on crossing off the items in the to-do list. It revolves around “the clock” – representing rigid schedules and calendars. Most of us would love to live in a day with 48 hours only because we have an unending pile of tasks, where something always gets rolled over. Which leads to work and life stress, burnout and an urgent lifestyle. When we let only the clock guides us, we end up slotting things every day, every hour and every moment.  Instead, we need a “compass” to balance it out. Something representing what we feel is actually important to our lives. 

A meaningful life is about following the compass and prioritizing the first things. No accomplishment will fill you with satisfaction if you've neglected the core people and principles that give you purpose and contribute to your happiness in the long run. Now! Spending time with family and friends is one of these “first things” for most people. Take the example of Covey’s daughter Maria. Maria was a bit frustrated that her life had gotten imbalanced after having a baby. Know what Covey advised? To accept that this phase was meant to be focused on her newborn. So, that's what she did! She let go of her guilt-inducing schedules and pressures. Her priority was simply enjoying her infant, guided by her internal compass rather than some clock on the wall. When she stopped slotting every other thing that didn’t matter most to her right now, she found a sense of calm!

So, prioritize first things first and you won’t be needing 48 hours in a day. 24 hours is all you need. Now, the thing is, we don’t really know how to use the “clock” to make time for the “compass”. So, here is a glimpse into proper time management to live a life that’s simply great!

Remember the days of sticky notes and endless checkboxes? That was time management 1.0. Then came calendars and color-coded schedules, a step up, but still feeling a bit… forced. And finally, there's time management 3.0 – all about goals and daily planning. But here's the thing: even with these systems, something often feels missing, much like being on the Titanic – things look neat, but you're still sinking.

That's where time management 4.0 comes in! 4.0 embraces the good of checklists, calendars, and daily planning but ditches their urgency addiction. It focuses on life leadership. It allows us to live in a world where "what's important" doesn't get drowned out by even the loudest "what's urgent." 

Now the question here is, where does this constant sense of urgency come from? It stems from two major reasons. First, it has become a flex! You are expected to be busy. If you have free time, you’re practically wasting your existence! And second - let’s be honest! It really is EXHILARATING! We love being awesome and validated. The temporary high we get from it is wow! It breathes a fresh spark into you, right?

But, this urgency-addiction is messing us up. We lose sight of what’s important. It’s always the work deadline, over Dad’s birthday. Not saying urgent things are always bad; it’s dominance over everything else is bad! That’s what makes our lives so… unlively!

Now, this compass theory is all well and good, but there’s a high chance that you might feel directionless and wonder, "What is truly important to me?" Here’s how to find out.

Here’s how Abraham Maslow categorizes these needs:

First, Physical Needs: We gotta stay alive, right? That means food, clothing, shelter, economic well-being, health. Physical needs are followed by Social Needs: the need to love and be loved, to belong, and to relate. When both the needs are satisfied, then come the Mental Needs: We all need to learn new things. It keeps our brains buzzing and opens up the world. Only when these fundamental needs are taken care of can we breathe a little easier, be more present, and approach each day with a sense of gratitude and drive. Your needs are pieces of a puzzle, overlapping at a special place Covey calls 'the fire within.' Aka the Spiritual Needs: Feeling like you did something good in this world -  that's what gives life meaning. Leave a legacy behind! And that’s our fourth need. These 4 needs met equals a happy life and vice versa.

How is this information gonna be useful? Imagine that work's been brutal. Instead of letting the emptiness fill you, choose to rewrite your story. Have dinner with family (social). Laughter fills the air as you reconnect with loved ones. You can dive into a world of fiction (mental) with a captivating book and awaken the inner explorer. Additionally, you can volunteer at a local charity (spiritual).  The warmth of making a difference washes over you, reminding you of your place in the bigger picture.

So that’s all about needs. These along with your personal mission statement will make clear what’s truly important and should be done first. Let’s shift our focus now on something that’ll ensure you end up doing the important stuff and also balance conflicting tasks - our principles

What is the time management matrix? Imagine your calendar as a pot. Plant your "big rocks" first – that’s the non-urgent but deeply important goals. Then, sprinkle in the "gravel" of urgent and meaningful tasks. Fill the remaining cracks with "sand" – the urgent but less meaningful tasks. Finally, watch the "water" of unimportant, non-urgent matters gently filling in the remaining space. With the big non-urgent important rocks anchoring your life, watch the remaining space transform into a thriving space of purpose and joy.

 Now, you could just fill the whole pot with sand – the urgent but unimportant tasks, but that’ll leave no room for the other elements waiting on the side. That's the trap of urgency – it fills our calendars instantly, drowning out the long-term goals that matter most. Just like in the pot, there will be no space for those cherished dreams if we let the urgent, unimportant tasks flood in first.

When you frame your priorities like this, you create the psychological and emotional space for what matters most. From this space comes a sense of inner peace and balance. So, shoo away all the unrealistic expectations to please everyone. Instead, be bold! Be humble! That's how you get true contentment - putting your deepest values and cherished relationships at the center, making space without regret for all else that remains.

Remember, a quality life blossoms where needs are nourished and principles are the guiding sun. Let’s focus on nourishing needs first.

Now you know that having strong principles makes it way easier to achieve your goals. That principles give roadmap to follow, and all that. But simply having a set of principles isn't enough - you need integrity to actually follow these principles when the going gets tough. Integrity means doing the right thing according to your values, even when it's not convenient or immediately rewarding. Without integrity, your principles are just empty words! 

So, how can you build the integrity to stay on track? It starts with getting the right perspective. Here's how Covey explains it. We either take a zoomed-in view perspective (this is for immediate stuff, like a morning trip to the cafe) or the wide-angle view perspective (this is your 5 or 10 yearly plans). The zoomed-in perspective focuses only on what's right in front of us. We get hung up on fleeting frustrations rather than the "big rocks". And the wide-angle isn't perfect either - it keeps us disconnected from the actual, real life steps we should be taking to get closer to that big picture. 

One effective approach for bridging these perspectives is calendar planning on a weekly timescale. Each week, lay out your high-level objectives and principles, then get specific about when and how you'll work towards them through your daily actions. And whenever you can, combine your goals or activities. No chopping up life, remember? Like, you could listen to a podcast on the way to university. Give it a try and you’ll see how a different perspective can improve your quality of life!

Then again, what exactly is this improved quality of life? Like, we're all scrambling for best grades, fancy jobs, the whole "who's on top" game. But don’t you think that’s not doing much for our quality of life? If anything, this constant competition and "go-it-alone" thing is messing us up. Let’s learn more about it.

Think about it: we rush through everything!! "Fast food love," "fast track living" – it's all part of this rush, rush, rush lifestyle. The real problem is we are also losing our sense of connection and community. And the "every man for himself" approach isn’t helping.

What if we flipped the script? Instead of competition, imagine teaming up. Interdependence and cooperation people! Working together makes life oh! so sweet! No more "winner takes all" mentality. Instead, it's "we all win!" Just look at couples who weather tough times together. Their bond gets stronger, like a tree in a storm. The beauty of this “we all win” collaborative spirit is that it extends beyond immediate goals. When we empower others, we invest in the potential of our communities, our workplaces, and even the world around us. By nurturing the talents and voices of those around us, we create a ripple effect of growth and progress that benefits everyone. We become not just teammates, but co-creators of a brighter future.

Besides, remember all our basic needs - physical, mental, social, as well as the need of leaving a legacy behind? Well, all of them involve others. We're wired for connection, like peanut butter and jelly!

The next time you feel the urge to race, remember: collaboration, not competition! Let's just ditch the solo act, okay? 

Now, say you get placed in a position of authority. What then? How does First Things First work there?

Life's a juggling act, right? Balls flying, stress climbing, and you're just trying to keep it all from crashing. But what if you stopped spinning and started choosing?

Instead of chasing every urgent ping, focus on what truly matters: those big dreams, those deep connections - and set goals accordingly. . Picture your future self, smiling. What steps get you there? Make those steps your priority. Breathe, plan, and watch the pressure ease. When you juggle with purpose, you discover the magic of living well: happiness, calm, inner peace, and the freedom to enjoy the ride.