In a 1973 interview with Bill Moyers, Dr. Maya Angelou said, "You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great." But to our author, Brené Brown’s ears, it sounded wrong, just WRONG! Belonging nowhere? What kind of a world would that be? Just a bunch of lonely people together, isn’t it?
For over two decades, the quote would anger Brené. After all, it’s essential to belong. Don't we all crave a place to call home, a tribe to embrace? This anger, Brené soon realized, sprouted from two reasons. First, Dr. Angelou had become such a guiding light that even a slight disagreement on something so fundamental felt like a betrayal to Brené. Second, the idea of "belonging nowhere" as “freedom” felt like a cruel joke. “Belonging is essential.”
Now, what’s the point of this little story? Brené's journey from rejecting Dr. Angelou's words to embracing them mirrors our own struggles with belonging. Just as Brené initially misunderstood the meaning of "belonging nowhere," we often misinterpret what true belonging means in our hyper-connected yet isolating world. Her story serves as a guide, showing us how to navigate the paradox of belonging in a society that often pushes us apart. Speaking of being pushed apart, we've all felt like that odd sock in the drawer, the one that never quite seems to find its match. The ache of being alone, the confusion of where we fit in – it's a feeling we all know.
Remember how the internet was once hailed as the great connector – bridging the gaps – making the world a closer place. But all its algorithm did was to make it easier for bringing together people with shared ideas and beliefs. Result? Exactly what you’re thinking: illusion of the “supposed connection.” It’s the very reason we feel isolated or alone – lacking personal connections – not belonging anywhere. Adding cherry to the top, just like with Brené, any slight deviation of your thoughts from the thoughts of your “connections” feels like a betrayal.
So, allow us to help you find the match to your odd sock! We won’t promise you of finding your perfect tribe; instead, we promise you of learning the art of embracing true connections. Let’s begin the journey of “true belonging” into wilderness that starts from the inside out!
Summary
There you have it! Braving the Wilderness is your calling to embrace your authentic self, to stand tall in your uniqueness while reaching out to connect with others. By cultivating courage, trust, and genuine connections, we can navigate the wilderness of loneliness and discover true belonging – not in spite of our differences, but because of them. And just like that, we create a world where we can all feel seen, heard, and valued.
Brené's Painful Quest of Fitting In
Meet a young Brené from 1969, a Texan moving to New Orleans – a wonderful city suffocated by racism. Her pre-K and kindergarten were too complicated but she was too young to know or understand what was happening. As strange as it would sound, her ‘name’ was an invitation to troubles! Cause Brené's name on the kindergarten homeroom list was Casandra Brené Brown. Casandra – a popular black kid name. So you know! She wasn’t exactly a priority guest for...
Learn the art of true belonging
In 1987, Brené met Steve. He saw right through her – the real Brené, and guess what? He liked her the way she liked him! They bonded over their shared experiences of loneliness and being outsiders. Seven years later, they got married. But hey, love is messy, and theirs was no exception. Things got tough. Brené even confessed to a therapist that she wasn't sure their marriage would last. The therapist's response was a wake-up call: "He likes you way...
Courage and Trust Are Your Compass in the Wilderness
So! Let’s make it clear. Brené’s true belonging is a superpower – a belief in yourself so strong that you can share your true colors with the world, and find connection even when you stand out in the crowd. But unlike others, this superpower doesn't come with a cape. It takes a willingness to step into the wilderness – a vast, open space, where you're free to explore who you are, without worrying about judgment. It's a place where you...
The loneliness epidemic!
Would you like to live in a world where you only hear your own voice echoed back? Sounds boring and unintelligible? Well, what if we tell you that you’re already living in one? We’re talking in an encrypted language, we know, so allow us to explain: By surrounding ourselves with unchallenging opinions, we've accidentally caused a loneliness epidemic! But first of, what exactly is loneliness in this context? It's not just about being physically alone. As neuroscientist John Cacioppo explains,...
Loneliness thrives on isolation and anger, so focus on real-life experiences to build connections and channelize the anger
While scrolling through social media, you ever felt like people are just ranting? Throwing their wacky opinions out with zero concern for accountability, truth, and identity? Yeah, us too! And it’s not just the people. News outlets bombard us with negativity, and political debates sound like screaming matches. In such a scenario, it's easy to get sucked into this vortex of hatred and anger, where everyone on the "other side" becomes a nameless, faceless enemy. But there's a way out...
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About the Author
Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she holds the Huffington Foundation Endowed Chair at the Graduate College of Social Work. She also holds the position of visiting professor in management at the University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.
Brené has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of six #1 New York Times bestsellers and is the host of two award-winning podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead.
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