In a 1973 interview with Bill Moyers, Dr. Maya Angelou said, "You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great." But to our author, Brené Brown’s ears, it sounded wrong, just WRONG! Belonging nowhere?  What kind of a world would that be? Just a bunch of lonely people together, isn’t it? For over two decades, the quote would anger Brené. After all, it’s essential to belong. Don't we all crave a place to call home, a tribe to embrace? This anger, Brené soon realized, sprouted from two reasons.  First, Dr. Angelou had become such a guiding light that even a slight disagreement on something so fundamental felt like a betrayal to Brené. Second, the idea of "belonging nowhere" as “freedom” felt like a cruel joke. “Belonging is essential.”Now, what’s the point of this little story? Brené's journey from rejecting Dr. Angelou's words to embracing them mirrors our own struggles with belonging. Just as Brené initially misunderstood the meaning of "belonging nowhere," we often misinterpret what true belonging means in our hyper-connected yet isolating world. Her story serves as a guide, showing us how to navigate the paradox of belonging in a society that often pushes us apart. Speaking of being pushed apart, we've all felt like that odd sock in the drawer, the one that never quite seems to find its match. The ache of being alone, the confusion of where we fit in – it's a feeling we all know. Remember how the internet was once hailed as the great connector – bridging the gaps – making the world a closer place. But all its algorithm did was to make it easier for bringing together people with shared ideas and beliefs. Result? Exactly what you’re thinking: illusion of the “supposed connection.” It’s the very reason we feel isolated or alone – lacking personal connections – not belonging anywhere. Adding cherry to the top, just like with Brené, any slight deviation of your thoughts from the thoughts of your “connections” feels like a betrayal.So, allow us to help you find the match to your odd sock! We won’t promise you of finding your perfect tribe; instead, we promise you of learning the art of embracing true connections. Let’s begin the journey of “true belonging” into wilderness that starts from the inside out!

Meet a young Brené from 1969, a Texan moving to New Orleans – a wonderful city suffocated by racism. Her pre-K and kindergarten were too complicated but she was too young to know or understand what was happening. As strange as it would sound, her ‘name’ was an invitation to troubles! Cause Brené's name on the kindergarten homeroom list was Casandra Brené Brown. Casandra – a popular black kid name. So you know! She wasn’t exactly a priority guest for white families. Let’s fast forward through a childhood marked by constant moves. Just as Brené started to build friendships and feel a flicker of belonging, bam! The family packs up the car again, and she's the new kid all over again. New Orleans to Houston, Houston to Washington D.C., then back to Houston – all before she even hit high school. Even though friendships and schools were constantly changing, the only good part about it was her parents seemed to be okay through all the chaos. Home felt like a safe haven. Not for too long, though. The last move back to Houston coincided with the beginning of her parents' not-so-happy-ever-after AND the Bearkadettes try-outs. Bearkadettes were Brené ‘s high school drill team - lines of girls in shiny uniforms doing crazy high kicks. To be a Bearkadette, Brené practiced like crazy which included going on a wacky cabbage soup and water diet to meet the weight requirement. All this to just find a place “to belong.”The day finally came. The tryouts began. Despite the nerves, she nailed the dance routine. She even kicked higher than most of the girls. But when the list of accepted girls was posted, Brené's name was nowhere to be found. It felt like the universe itself was rejecting her.After that, the car ride home with her whole family was filled with disappointment disguised as silence.  As the daughter of a dad who had been a captain of the football team and a mom who had been head of a drill team, she wasn’t good enough! She wasn’t cool enough. Was she not worthy of belonging anywhere, not even in her own family? Brené carried this feeling of not belonging well into adulthood. To numb the pain, she began drinking as an escape, as a way to silence the pain. However, addiction only compounded the problem. She realized it and later joined Alcoholics Anonymous. But...

In 1987, Brené met Steve. He saw right through her – the real Brené, and guess what? He liked her the way she liked him! They bonded over their shared experiences of loneliness and being outsiders. Seven years later, they got married. But hey, love is messy, and theirs was no exception. Things got tough. Brené even confessed to a therapist that she wasn't sure their marriage would last. The therapist's response was a wake-up call: "He likes you way more than you like you." Yikes! That one stung, but it also made Brené realize that she has to confront her deep-seated need for belonging.  And belonging wasn't something that just magically happened to Brené. It was a long journey, filled with detours and wrong turns. By her thirties, the whole “fitting in” struggle didn’t just disappear. Instead, she went from feeling like an outsider to perfection-obsessed person. It was like, "Okay, if I can just be perfect, then everyone will like me!" In that chase for perfection, something changed. Rejection, which used to send her spiraling, now became a chance to reflect. Instead of crawling into a hole, she started asking herself tough questions. What truly mattered to her? Was living a life dictated by others what she really wanted? The answer was a big fat "nope!"So, when the academic world told her a qualitative dissertation was a no-go, she did it anyway. When they tried to shut down her research on shame – a pretty taboo topic back then, she pressed on. And when they told her that professors couldn't write popular books, well, let's just say Brené wasn't one to follow the crowd. It wasn't that she hated fitting in altogether; it was more that she refused to sacrifice her true self for a pre-defined group.Then, in 2013, a series of seemingly random events led to a moment that would change everything. Brené was invited to be a guest on Oprah! Talk about a dream come true, right? But with the excitement came a familiar feeling – vulnerability.  A conversation with her manager about being a bit out of it - “not present” during dinner was a wake-up call. Brené realized she was escaping the moment, the very experience she craved. So, she did something crazy, well, kind of crazy. She wrote herself a permission slip: “Permission to be excited and goofy and to have fun.” This...

So! Let’s make it clear. Brené’s true belonging is a superpower – a belief in yourself so strong that you can share your true colors with the world, and find connection even when you stand out in the crowd. But unlike others, this superpower doesn't come with a cape. It takes a willingness to step into the wilderness – a vast, open space, where you're free to explore who you are, without worrying about judgment. It's a place where you can be vulnerable, maybe trip over a few rocks and still go strong! This wilderness journey won't be a walk in the park. There will be moments when you feel alone. But even in that solitude, you'll be connected to something bigger. You’ll have a feeling of belonging to yourself, a deep sense of self-worth that lets you stand tall, even when the world feels a little crazy.So, how do we walk this wild path? It takes courage, for sure.  Courage to speak your truth, even when your voice trembles. Courage to put yourself out there, even when rejection hurts. Courage to be vulnerable and share your true self, even when you feel exposed. This courage is the key that unlocks the door to true belonging.Another trait that goes hand-in-hand with courage is the ability to trust. You gotta trust yourself to know your worth, and trust that others, despite their differences, can be a part of your journey. It's about letting go of the need to control everything and embracing the beautiful messiness of connections. Here are seven traits to trustworthiness that you can remember through the acronym “BRAVING.” B for boundaries, R for resilience, A for accountability, V for vault, I for integrity, N for non-judgment and G for generosity.Remember: To become butterflies, the caterpillars gotta break free from their cozy cocoons. Show courage and spread your wings!Now, are you also seeing a paradox here like us – wanting connection yet finding strength in embracing individuality? Well, that's the beauty of it. It's about finding the middle ground, where you can be part of a community while still honoring your unique self. It's about belonging everywhere and nowhere, all at once. It sounds strange, but trust us, it's a powerful place to be.Next up? In your journey of finding “true belonging,” you’ll encounter an epidemic – a loneliness epidemic! How do you deal with it?

Would you like to live in a world where you only hear your own voice echoed back? Sounds boring and unintelligible? Well, what if we tell you that you’re already living in one? We’re talking in an encrypted language, we know, so allow us to explain: By surrounding ourselves with unchallenging opinions, we've accidentally caused a loneliness epidemic! But first of, what exactly is loneliness in this context? It's not just about being physically alone. As neuroscientist John Cacioppo explains, loneliness is more about our perception.Meaning it’s not just about actually being alone but about our perceptions and feelings of lacking meaningful interactions. Our brains are wired for connection, and loneliness is as critical a warning sign as hunger or thirst. Living with loneliness increases early death risk by 45%, making it more dangerous than obesity, excessive drinking, and air pollution.Now, about the epidemic. See, in his book, ‘The Big Sort,’ Bill Bishop highlights how we've grouped into like-minded bubbles, shutting out differing views and growing more extreme. This self-sorting disconnects us, creating echo chambers where we only hear what we already believe, thanks to the media, books, and people around us, especially the internet and its algorithm.Here’s a stat bomb for you: In 1976, less than 25% of Americans lived in places where presidential candidates won by a huge margin. That means there was still a healthy diversity in opinions and ideologies. But in 2016, 80% of U.S. counties saw either Trump or Clinton win by a large margin. This political segregation isn't about voting patterns; it's a symptom of a larger societal shift towards like-minded bubbles. We're isolating ourselves from varied opinions. And doing that hasn't made us any happier. It's actually fueling a growing problem. See, as we cocoon ourselves in these ideological bubbles, we're unknowingly cutting off diverse perspectives and meaningful interactions. This self-imposed isolation is a key driver of what experts are calling a 'loneliness epidemic'. Want more stats?   In 1980, 20% of Americans reported feeling lonely; today, it’s more than double that. And this isn’t just a local issue—loneliness rates are rising globally.The question that arises here is this, now: why do we engage in self-sorting if it's so detrimental? The culprit is fear. Fear drives us to seek comfort in the familiar and avoid the unknown. And that in turn makes us self-sort and disconnect. For instance, In America, the post-9/11 era saw...

While scrolling through social media, you ever felt like people are just ranting? Throwing their wacky opinions out with zero concern for accountability, truth, and identity? Yeah, us too! And it’s not just the people. News outlets bombard us with negativity, and political debates sound like screaming matches. In such a scenario, it's easy to get sucked into this vortex of hatred and anger, where everyone on the "other side" becomes a nameless, faceless enemy. But there's a way out of this mess, and it starts with looking at our own lives.Think about your closest friend, the one you can always count on. Remember that time they were there for you through a tough situation? Now imagine they belong to a political party you disagree with extremely. Suddenly, the picture changes, right? They're not some nameless enemy anymore, they're your friend, the one who lent you a shoulder to cry on. This personal connection is THE antidote to the dehumanization we see everywhere these days. We need to zoom in on the real people in our lives, not the labels slapped on them by the media or politicians.But hold on, does that mean we ignore our own feelings? No! We all get angry and hurt sometimes. It's okay to feel those emotions, but be cautious! Don’t let them turn into hatred. Like, acknowledge the pain and anger, and then process them in a healthy way. Maybe talk to a trusted friend, write in a journal, or take a walk in nature. Don't let those negative emotions turn you into someone you don't recognize.The bottomline about true belonging? It doesn't mean surrounding yourself with yes-men and echo chambers. It means empathy and compassion even for those we disagree with. Like having a calm conversation with someone who has a completely different viewpoint. It might feel scary at first, but using conflict transformation techniques like this can help:  For example, disagreeing with a coworker? Listen to their ideas, acknowledge their concerns, then focus on what you both want for the project. This can turn a fight into finding solutions together. These tools help us channel disagreements in a way that fosters understanding, not just winning arguments.Like disagreements, hate can also be channelized to foster understanding; even bring a positive change in the society. Meet Antoine Leiris, who lost his wife in a horrific terrorist attack. And yet he chose not to hate...

There you have it! Braving the Wilderness is your calling to embrace your authentic self, to stand tall in your uniqueness while reaching out to connect with others. By cultivating courage, trust, and genuine connections, we can navigate the wilderness of loneliness and discover true belonging – not in spite of our differences, but because of them. And just like that, we create a world where we can all feel seen, heard, and valued.