Living as per the Biblical phrase “love thy neighbour" is a good way to live. But ‘loving yourself’ is equally important if you wish to lead a fulfilling life! The travails and trials of life showed the author Kamal Ravikant that practising self-love can potentially bring a magical transformation and improve the quality of life.
In Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It (2020) by Kamal Ravikant, the author endorses the life-changing power of self-love. Kamal believes in the transformative power of simple phrases like "I love myself". The idea is simple: to look beyond one’s faults and commit to treasuring oneself in the truest sense.
From serving in the US army to meditation with Tibetan monks, Kamal Ravikant led an intriguing life and now, he shares his journey through personal anecdotes, practical tips and a series of meditative exercises for the benefit of the reader. The book is a perfect work for negative self-talkers or people caught in a negative mental loop, who wish to alter their lives positively.
Let’s get right into it with self-love!
Change Your Thought Pattern By Embracing Self-Love!
Just think about that time when you felt the full force of love - your mother’s warm embrace, the first blessed crush, the very first time you held your baby in your arms, or even that first joining letter! Love brings contentment, security and peace and yet, we only understand it when we relate it to an external sourrce - an external event or person. We love people, things and achievements but never really learn to direct warmth and love to our own selves! Just imagine the healing we might experience if we could love ourselves the way we love another person or a goal.Why do we never learn to self-love? One can partly blame it on the social norms which can consider the act of self-love selfish. Which is totally lame! It’s like saying eating or sleeping is selfish.And partly, it is because we get caught in a cycle of negative thinking - shameful and guilt-ridden thoughts due to past mistakes or so-called failures. We internalize that we don’t deserve kindness and love.Compare your mind to a monkey. How he jumps from one branch to another and then another, almost restless. Does your mind work any differently? One look at your chain of thoughts will prove how your mind, too, keeps jumping from past to present to future and back to past within a minute! Now repeating negative thoughts gets them engraved in your mind - triggered and remembered easily. If you intend to change the quality of your life, controlling these thoughts is the first essential step. What you have to do is replace the thought loops of guilt and negativity with thoughts of self-love and care. A new, healthier mental loop! You can use “I am enough, and worthy of love” or “It’s okay to be imperfect”. Eventually, your thought process will change, transforming you into a master of your mind.Your mind and body are built to reinforce self-talk. Once your thoughts become more positive and self-affirming, they create a beautiful space in your body and mind that will exude confidence and love like never before. And remember, when you love yourself fully, you become ready to receive love from the other and that’s the road to unfettered bliss, love, and fulfilment in life. Thinking yourself worthy of all the joy and love will attract a joyful life. Allow yourself to be loved and see how light...
Practice Self-Forgiveness To Make Way For Unbridled Happiness!
We grow old and wise, not necessarily in that order! Yes, age can bring practical knowledge of the world, but we actually grow wise when we learn from our mistakes through self-evaluation and introspection. Our mistakes make us stronger and wiser, but only if we learn the lessons and avoid wasting time with self-pity.A mistake is just that - a ‘missed take’! So, learn the lesson from a bad take, a bad decision, a bad choice! Learn, and get ready for another ‘take’. Life is long! There are gonna be enough chances at your disposal. Wallowing in self-criticism will only create a negative mental loop where you’ll hate yourself and lose your self-confidence to try again. Instead, create an acceptance that you’re gonna fail. You’re gonna make some mistake. And that’s okay! It is not the end of the world, dear!An essential component of bouncing back from mistakes involves self-love and self-acceptance. Accept yourself for who you are - with all your faults and strengths. Comparing your life with other’s accomplishments will only boost mindless competitiveness and create self-loathing. Celebrate your one-of-a-kind attributes. Speak to yourself as you would to a child - encouraging positive qualities and personality traits. Get rid of any guilt or shame that might be stopping you from leading a joyful life.But is it easy to let go of ‘perceived failures’, you might ask?Well… it’s not impossible! A simple exercise may help you unburden some of the past burdens. Just go to a peaceful location like a park or riverside, and write down everything which you consider as a failure or shortcoming in yourself. Take a hard look through your mind and jot down the memories that burden you.Done? Now, take a look at all that you wrote. See the failures as ‘mistakes’ - mistakes that taught you the hard way, but taught you well, and made you wiser! Do not let them define you or what you’re capable of. Now for the best part! Burn the damn paper! Rip it apart or throw it in trash can! Let all the angst go away with it. Unburden yourself and embrace forgiveness for past errors. Get rid of the emotional baggage that you’ve been carrying for years, or even decades. And that’s how you will make space for a refreshing change in life, a new you, a version of yourself that’s ready to love itself.But you need...
Promise To Love Yourself Every Single Day!
Forgiving yourself heals you and creates space for happiness and love to enter. But, practicing self-love just once or twice is not enough. You need to believe it ALL THE TIME - to the point that it becomes second nature. Ravikant suggests that you take a pledge to love yourself consistently and daily. It is like promising unconditional love for your partner during a marriage ceremony. Go ahead and take a vow of unconditional self-love! If small promises like spending time with your nephew, or helping Mom with something make you feel responsible and want to fulfill them, promising to love yourself is also feasible. We are talking about the most crucial decision in your life here! A decision which will permanently alter your relationship with yourself. You gotta be more determined!
Perhaps, another exercise will help you here. Writing is therapeutic, yeah? So, write it all down, just like before, the essential pledge to love yourself unconditionally. Take the solemn oath seriously and read it aloud first thing in the morning till it sinks in. Do it daily! The repetition will help with not breaking your promise, too! And that will give you such please and confidence - even more than you can imagine. When you repeat the vow every day, there will be a noticeable shift in your energy, from self-judgement to self-love.
Okay! Next: alongside a vow, clearing your head at the beginning of each day is also important. How? Find out in the next segment!
Include Meditation As A Daily Ritual In Your Life
Every new habit has the potential to make or break you. Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said “Watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” And that’s why it is critical to form healthy habits early in life. In a way, creating new and healthy habits requires breaking old and unhealthy habits. For instance, a good habit like a morning walk is formed by saying no to the old habit of sleeping late every single morning when the alarm goes off. Get it?Now, consistent effort is another prerequisite to creating healthier habits. Daily rituals. Only then will they make the best difference. Combining both these principles, Ravikant strongly supports a morning ritual involving meditation and gratitude!The ancient art of meditation has tremendous potential to arrest the chain of thoughts, – even the negative mental loop ones! So, morning meditation is like a peaceful beginning to the day. Ravikant’s own life took a positive turn when he introduced meditation in his day-to-day life. If you have never practiced meditation before, starting with a 7-minute meditation routine is a good start. The author suggests a simple meditation technique here - find some meditation music online and close your eyes when it plays. Now take a deep breath in and imagine a light entering you from above your head. Exhale and repeat the process a few times. Practicing even a simple ritual like this will bring clarity to your mind.Now gratitude. It is so healthy for the mind to express gratitude for everything that goes well in a day. Make it a daily practice to reflect on the good things, big and small, that happened or that you accomplished. It can be as simple as enjoying a peaceful cup of tea, having a pleasant interaction with a stranger, finishing a work task, getting to spend quality time with a loved one, or even for your determination of self-love! Pausing to acknowledge and appreciate these small gifts trains the mind to focus less on worry and anxiety and more on the blessings already present.You can even combine it with your meditation. Simply utter “I love myself” when you inhale and say “Thank you” with exhalation. Starting your day with such a positive mental exercise will transform your energy levels and bring optimistic and rewarding changes in your life. The duration of the practice won't matter. All that matters...
Unearth The Infinite Potential Of Love By Saying "I Love Myself" In Front Of The Mirror!
Every day is a new beginning and brings a promise of a new dawn! But you will not wake up every morning with such a positive mindset. Sometimes, you might feel restless and anxious and that’s alright too. In case this happens, Ravikant suggests another fruitful exercise to revitalise your energy and bring comfort and relaxation.
Just stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself. Like, take a deep, deep look into your eyes and try to witness the magic of your soul. Do this for five minutes and think “I love myself” with sincerity, emotion, and focus. Better yet, actually say the words out loud! Show your body some love. It's you telling yourself "You're awesome just the way you are and you deserve to feel that love for yourself, always." Feel what it’s like to direct love and care towards yourself. Sounds a bit over the top? It is a tried-and-tested exercise and will help you forge a positive bond with yourself. For just 5 minutes, let expressions of self-criticism pause while you anchor in the feeling of self-acceptance. With this verbal assurance, you strengthen new neural pathways in the brain. It becomes easier and more automatic over time to carry yourself with greater self-compassion. You’re telling yourself that despite everything, you’re till worthy of love. So, even if it might feel stupid in the beginning, you won’t feel so when it fills you with awesome energy!
Other times, self-doubt and self-criticism creeps in and eat your energy. But do not let them win! Unleash the true potential of love. Try this. Inhale and exhale 10 times and while you’re at it, imagine you’re in a room full of people who love you with all their heart. You will actually begin to feel warmth and love entering your body. That’s the power of love!
Mind you, love has the power to get rid of fear and doubt. It has the potential to blossom an infinite garden of ideas, talents, and dreams lives in your subconscious. It is alright if all this feels a bit strange initially. After all, you’re opening a new chapter of loving compassion in your life. But, opening this chapter will allow joy and bliss to enter and create a magical new reality for you.
Chapter 8
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Summary
When you get down to it, Ravikant makes a pretty convincing case that loving yourself is key to living a good life. His personal journey of using mantras to transform crippling doubts into unshakable confidence shows that real change comes from within. By deciding to love yourself—fully, without compromise—you reshape your brain patterns and make joy possible. So, believe you matter, speak love to yourself, and beauty will follow.
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About the Author
I've been fortunate enough to have some amazing experiences in my life so far. I've trekked to one of the highest base camps in the Himalayas, earned my US Army Infantry patch, walked 550 miles across Spain, lived in Paris, been the only non-black, non-woman member of the Black Women's writers' group, written several bestsellers, held the hands of dying patients, and worked with some of the best people in Silicon Valley.
But the most transformative experience has been the simple act of loving myself.
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