The pursuit of happiness has become a bit of an obsession, hasn't it? We desperately chase after those feelings of joy and contentment, convinced that if we could just get a grip on them, we'll be satisfied. But have you ever stopped to consider the irony in that pursuit?
Happiness literally means "occurring by chance" - something meant to arise naturally and be appreciated. Yet we relentlessly plan and try to thrust it into our lives. The second we feel any other emotion, we find solutions to kill it. A surefire recipe for feeling stressed, inadequate, and paradoxically unhappy! And this solution? It becomes the new problem. A vicious cycle! Take Joseph. He’s just your average guy wanting to socialise but terrified of rejection, so he gets super anxious in social situations and as a solution, he avoids them; leaving him isolated and friendless. Once in a blue moon, if he does go out, he’s more anxious than ever because he’s so out of practice. Which just reinforces his fear of rejection even more. See? A trap!
In The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris offers a refreshing approach to happiness, based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. ACT was created and developed by Steven C. Hayes, a psychologist. It helps you accept your thoughts and feelings while committing to living according to your values. With ACT, rather than creating happiness, you'll find happiness!
This book is a masterful guide to realizing you're not actually trapped at all - and that you’re not just telling yourself a story that blocks your inherent capacity for peace and life satisfaction. Are you ready to change that story?
Summary
You are now fully armed to live an awesomely fulfilling life. But the real deal-breaker: reading this book won’t transform your life on its own. You need to put in the work! And remember, these aren't The Ten Commandments. You can experiment! Mix and match and see how they fit your vibe. Lastly, trust your own experience, let it be your guide.
Core Principles of ACT
Can you relate to this frustrating paradox? The more you desperately try to control your painful thoughts and feelings to find happiness, the more they seem to spiral out of control? Where does this come from, huh?Modern society has sold us a bunch of myths about how we're supposed to be permanently smiling and eliminating anything negative from our minds. But as human beings, uncomfortable emotions are inevitable. And we've been taught all the wrong ways to deal with them....
Defusion Explained
If mind is a drama queen, defusion is the sassy antidote that gives it as good as it gets! It starts with seeing your thoughts what they really are: just words! Your mind's latest story. Soooo, what’s your mind's favorite story? "You're not good enough" or that you'll "never succeed"? The first step is to give this useless story a name. Like calling it "The I'm A Loser Story" Cool, right? By labeling it, you're putting some distance between you...
Making Room for The Bad
Donna experienced the immense trauma of losing both her husband and child in a car accident. To avoid feeling the intense pain of this loss, she turned to excessive drinking and popping Valium like candy. However, this just made things worse: adding "dirty discomfort" from substance abuse on top of her natural "clean discomfort" of grief. While Donna's case is extreme, we all do this - avoiding and escaping.ACT is a strict no-no towards that. And as a counter, it...
Contact with the Present Moment
That’s the official ACT term for our 3rd principle. Remember the baseball example? We said observing self is always zoned in on a moment, right? And, zoning OUT? How does that happen? You got it! It’s the thinking self, playing time machine again. You're having a conversation, nodding along, but your brain is in another dimension; disconnected from the present moment. Thinking self in the driver’s seat. Its favorite thing – obsessing about the past or future. We constantly live...
What Sort of Person Do You Want To Be?
What's the secret to living a life that feels genuinely satisfying and worthwhile? Beneath the surface of our daily routines and pursuits, there lies a deeper longing – a yearning to align our existence with something fulfilling. This fulfilling thing is what we call core values - the fundamental desires and principles that motivate you at the deepest level.Values are like a personal guidebook for how you want to move through life and relate to the world around you. They...
Commit!!
When we say "commit," we mean DO NOT make a half-hearted resolution that’ll die the second you’re done with this summary. Actually commit! Take effective action again and again and yet again - despite stumbles. That’s the beauty of committed action: It's an inherently optimistic approach to life. The mindset is that no matter how many times you fail, you can still learn and grow.And committed action is also about embracing uncertainty. Even amid doubts, fears, and anxiety, you still...
More knowledge in less time
The Art of Community
Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
Find your next read
Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
Shortcasts
We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.
About the Author
Hi, I’m Russ… doctor, therapist, father, trainer of health professionals, and author of The Happiness Trap (plus eight other books).
I started my career as a newly-graduated doctor back in 1989, and soon discovered that most of my patients were expressing a significant degree of dissatisfaction in life; stress, anxiety and unhappiness were widespread. I strongly related to their struggles, because I was experiencing something similar myself.
Despite the fact that I had a successful career with a dream job, good income and high status, I was depressed, anxious, and overweight. I felt my life lacked a sense of meaning and purpose, and at times I was even suicidal.
Thank you for registering with Storise.
Your journey with books and ideas begins now, anytime, anywhere.
You can now use your registered email to log in to the app.